Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Stick Ross and Tree Hackers

I'm having a bad day. (no it's not THAT time of the month)
First I get woken up by the tree trimmer people. I had orders from Eric not to let them in. So then Lake Region Electric calls. So I let them in. They trump Eric.
"My husband likes his trees." I tell the guys. "So can you please do a good job so I don't have to go stay at my mom's? Pretty please?"
So they proceed to demolish the trees lining the rode. I know I know. We will be thankful when the ice storms hit. Well not Eric. "I have a generator thank you. I don't want my trees hacked up. Do you know how many animals live in those trees?"
So I guess he expects me to take Bro out and tie ourselves up to the tree with a chain so they won't chop it down? I'm a little more down to Earth.
I'm standing on top of the vanity in Bro's bathroom watching them hack away (because I'm nosey) and I notice they start to hack away at the cedar tree they said they would just trim. I'm like CRAP. Hack hack hack.
Ding dong.
"Ma'am. The tree has to go. It's directly under the powerline. You have three options. We cut it for free. The electric company makes you pay someone to cut it. Or when the ice storms come this winter you lose electric and the company cuts it down and you have to dispose of it yourself."
"Fine cut it down." GREAT. Now I get to tell Eric the cedar tree is no more. That'll wait until later.
I mosey on into the kitchen feeling sorry for myself that I have to break the news about the cedar to Eric. I turn on the water to rinse the dishes and not a drop. Nothing. I'm mad. I can't even tell you how many times this happens. It's always the same reason. The church down the road.
So I call up Stick Ross Mountain Water Company which is actually a secretary at an accounting office in Tahlequah. Yes I know.
"M&R Accounting."
"What do you think Crescent Valley Church would do if I waltzed in naked with a towel over my shoulder and said I needed to borrow some water?"
She dies laughing. Well at least someone is laughing today.
"I'm sorry" she says "there is a water leak and they had to shut it off."
I'm like "My gosh! Are they ever going to find it!?!?! This happens all the time! I know it's not your fault, but geez!"
"I'm sorry. Hopefully they find it today." (they is one guy with a cell phone, by the way)
"I hope so too. Thanks."
I dial Eric and when he answers I hold the phone up to the faucet. "What do you hear?"
"EXACTLY. THAT'S what's coming out of my faucet!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh that sucks."
He doesn't have a clue. He also doesn't have a clue at how annoying it is that I have been trying to upload a stinking video since Saturday.
Am I in the twilight zone? Maybe Ahston Kutcher is going to pop out any minute and say "You've been punk'd!" Maybe this is a very long dream and I'll wake up. I DON'T KNOW!!!!
Sorry this is a bitchfest. I have to vent somewhere! I guess it makes for entertaining blog posts....to everyone except me! PLEASE SOMEONE WAKE ME UP!!!!!! I want to go to the land of rainbows and kittens! Maybe they have running water there!!!


The Christenson's said...

I am cracking up! Cracking up!! Sorry to laugh at your expense, by the way. You are just too funny and I can hear every part of it coming out of your mouth. I love the title! You crack me up. Thanks! Miss you tons! And I am sorry for no water, a bad internet connection (which I totally get...) and tree hackers. You and Brodey tied to a tree just to send a message would have been a funny post too. hehehehehe

Lisa S. said...

April ~ I'm so sorry. Uggghhh! I wouldn't be so pleasant if I were in your shoes. I hope things get better out there. :)


mommy2alex said...

Oh my goodness, you are killin me with the "walkin naked into the church" comment, but from you I know it was hilarious!!
It's snowing like mad here, so if you and Bro need a place to hide out while E mourns the trees, come up for some snow fun:)

Keysha said...

i figure under what better circumstances to meet than these?
1. we have ZERO trees big enough to interfere with any powerlines
2. our internet connection is cable, and i can't recall it ever not working
3. we have running water-at all faucets
pack the bags and the kiddo-although, our lives now sound a tad boring.....

~Kim said...

Oh my stars April, I am SO sorry to be laughing hysterically at your expense, but sister you are just so stinkin' funny!!!

I am sure some of those older men in that church might just have a heart attack if you walked in there with a towel! And all the women would be praying all over you! (Side note: for your sake, please just let this be a vent and nothing you would really consider doing!)

Sorry about the trees...in all honesty, weren't the trees there before the durn powerlines? Can't they just move them? Totally not fair!

Hang in there girl! Living in the country does have its purks....like not having to listen to the neighbors argue because they have to rake leaves AGAIN, or like having the back neighbor decide to come over and clean out your birdhouse without asking. *Yeah...he just helps himself to our backyard! URGH

OK, long enough...you got me started on the bitchfest too! : )


Southern Accent Events said...

I hope the chicken and mushrooms were good at least! I love you!